the six month blessing

My child turned six months old on tuesday...Everyone told me to "just give it six months". It has most definately gotten easier even in the last few days. We are finally starting a real schedule which is allowing me to get more done. Caleb is also getting so much more interactive and in turn a lot funner to be around. A lot less crying, a lot more laughing. It's amazing watching him grow and develop into a little man.

hmmmmm....

I'm not feeling myself these days...It's quite hard to hang onto an old you with a new baby. My son has taken over my everything. It is quite sobering becoming a mother. You gain something irreplaceable and precious, but you also sacrifice. Everyday...I pray that I can see through my own selfishness daily and realize the great blessing making razzberries on the floor.

After a recent much needed 24 hours to myself in SF I came to realize that nothing in this world means more to me than my family. This is something new for me, and yet I feel as my friend Amanda put it that "I wear motherhood well". As I uncomfortably bounced in the corner of the club last night I found that I had to constantly redirect my mind from my baby to the music. It was exhausting trying to shut out the thoughts of my loved ones tucked in safe and warm whilst I tried to relive a part of me that has retired. Perspective is always good, I got that last night.

My two boys...Man if you would have told me even two years ago that this is where I'd be today, I'd be so shocked. My life has been quite the perverbial rollercoaster... mostly by my own creation. Three years ago I was so lost, messed up, angry...Today I am happy, whole, and content. When I promised Jesus at the tender age of ten that I would be His forever, I meant it. Forgetting that over the years and doing my own thing cost me a lot, but my beautiful Jesus is the Great restorer. He not only gave me back everything I gave away, He gave me so much more than I had ever expected in this life. I am an need of nothing and have everything overflowing. Every day is a gift in this beautiful life.